Dear H___,
Thank you so much for writing! I pray that I can be of some help to you. Let me first assure you that there IS life after Mormonism! Leaving it is a difficult thing, but it is worth it. I understand the confusion and pain you are going through. You are not alone. I will try to address the various concerns you expressed.
You mentioned that you have been looking for a church to attend. The first thing to do is put out of your mind the concept of finding "the true church." Biblically speaking, "the church" is made up of the body of believers. It is not found within the walls of a building or within a particular denomination. If you have been saved (given eternal life) by the blood of Christ, you belong to His church. Whether you worship and fellowship with other believers in a Baptist Church, Lutheran, non-denominational, Nazarene, Calvary or whatever---it is more a matter of personal preference. I will put a link at the end of this email to an excellent article on finding a good church.
I remember going to a different church each week for three weeks after leaving my ward. The first Sunday we went to a non-denominational that always had a full parking lot, not too far from our house. The message was great, but the music and the way people worshiped was a bit of a culture shock. My 8-year-old son asked me afterward if we were going to go to hell because we participated in singing sacred songs accompanied by drums! How sad that his young mind was already twisted by the LDS Church!
The following week I went to a Four-square church. The message was so uplifting and the music was not quite as rambunctious. When they sang "Lord, I Lift Your name on High," I cried. This is the chorus: "You came from heaven to earth to show the way; from the earth to the cross, my debt to pay; from the cross to the grave, from the grave to the sky, Lord, I lift Your name on high!" We were singing TO God, not just ABOUT God!
I'm rather outspoken and outgoing, so I went up to people exclaiming, "My name is Tracy. I just left the Mormon Church! I'm a Christian now!" (That might not be a good idea for you yet. A few people, unfortunately, feel really uncomfortable with those who have left Mormonism or Jehovah's Witness. If that happens to you, please know that not everyone is like that). Anyway, for two weeks I had people calling me from the churches I visited asking how I was doing and if they could pray for me. They would pray right over the phone! I didn't know whether to fold my arms and try to hold the receiver or what to do! This was so new to me. And the answer is "no," you do not have to fold your arms and bow your head to talk to the Lord. Anyway, they all told me that they hoped I would decide to attend their church, but as long as I found one I felt comfortable in, that was all that mattered. That dispelled another Mormon myth; that all the denominations are bickering amongst themselves each claiming to be true and each trying to get people to join THEIR church.
I had been praying that God would lead me to a church where He wanted us to be and one in which we could heal. The third week we attended Shadow Hills Baptist Church in Las Vegas and I knew that was the one! They kids came running across the courtyard after church yelling, "Mom! We love it!" It has really been amazing. When we were LDS we hated going to church. The kids always complained, "Do we HAVE to go?" and I dreaded Sundays because they were so stressful for me. After we became Christians that all changed. Sunday is now our favorite day of the week and we love going to church. My little kids are always asking, "Is it church-day today?"
I guess the best advice I can give you on that account is to let go of your preconceived notions about what church SHOULD be. God wants a relationship, not a religion. A relationship is dynamic and living, not a stagnant routine. Imagine if every time your wife wanted to talk to you, she insisted on sitting a certain way and using a formal language and saying things in a certain order----you get the point. Worship is about you relating to God in a very personal way and it does not always have to be the same. There does not have to be rituals. But, if you feel more comfortable in a more traditional setting, there is nothing wrong with attending a more formal church.
Mormons are not the only ones with "family values." I know the LDS Church would like to promote the idea that they have a corner of the market on family values, but that is simply not true. Have you ever heard of "Focus on the Family?" It is a Christian radio program and an organization that is very well-known in the Christian community for its resources on building strong families.
I understand your love for your family and your desire to want to be with them forever. Let’s look at this logically from a Mormon perspective. The Church promotes the idea of “Families are Forever;” but how realistic is that according to the LDS gospel? Families are forever according to Mormonism ONLY IF every individual family member actually makes it to the Celestial Kingdom. How worthy do you have to be? You have to walk a very narrow line all the days of your life and even then, you can’t be sure you’ll “make” it. If you are a temple-recommend holder for fifty years and then for whatever reason---perhaps you get depressed or something---you go see several R-rated movies and drink your first cup of coffee and on the way home you get killed in an accident; well, sorry Charlie. You ain’t going to the celestial kingdom! Never mind that all your life before that you were a grade-A Mormon.
Or, what if YOU make it, but your wife does not? What if one of your kids “goes astray” or becomes a drug addict or leaves the Church or gets pregnant out of wedlock and dies before she clears it up with local church leaders and gets to the temple? And what if you all make the CK by some miracle---then what? How are you and your wife, and your kids and their spouses, and all their kids and THEIR spouses, and all the generations before you and their spouses going to all live together along with everyone’s billions of spirit children that you are all going to have once you are gods and goddesses? It just does not make sense. In order to make room for everyone, each couple (and actually it will be a man and his many wives) will have to have their own sphere to live on to have enough room for billions upon billions of spirit kids. If so, then you’re not actually WITH your family forever because they are having to do the same thing somewhere else.
According to the Bible, people who are saved go to heaven to live in God’s presence with Jesus. If you are saved and your wife is saved and your kids are saved you will all be together in heaven. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). God has some pretty wonderful things waiting for us! Whatever it is, it is far better than what the Mormon gospel promises! It is far better than anyone could even imagine. God’s promises are real and they are sure.
As I left the Church, I had a support system in place. Rauni Higley of www.hismin.com was a great blessing to me. We emailed each other and spent hours on the phone with me. I had people praying for me at my new church. I emailed several ex-Mormon Christians asking if they knew anyone in the Las Vegas area who had been through what I was going through (Bill Mckeever, Sandra Tanner, others). One of them knew a woman not too far from me who ministered to Mormons and ex-Mormons. He gave me her email address. She arranged to meet with me weekly for a couple of months to help me make the transition into Christianity. I joined MIT-Talk; an Internet support group for ex-Mormons who still believed in Jesus (www.irr.org/mit ).
The only thing that will get the home teachers and the missionaries to stop contacting you is to have your name removed from the records of the Church. Getting your name on the “no-contact” list will not be sufficient. Every year the bishop is required to contact you at least once. If a new bishop comes in, he too will contact you. Wherever you move, the LDS Church will find you because that is their job; to keep track of their members. If you are ready to take that step, I will help you. If you really want the missionaries to stop coming over, just give them some “anti-Mormon” literature. The mission president will immediately put a stop to their coming over!
There are a couple things to do to “overcome Mormonism.” You may have already done some of this. First of all, get yourself a good book that exposes Mormonism, such as “One Nation Under Gods” by Richard Abanes, or “Mormon America” by Richard and Joan Ostling, or “Shadow or Reality” by Jerald and Sandra Tanner. Then, whenever you get a mini-panic attack of, “Oh no! What if the Church really is true?” you can get the book off the shelf and read some of the things you’ve highlighted and your doubts will fly away. When you see again all the revisions in LDS history, the changed doctrines, the cover-ups, etc., you will know Mormonism is wrong.
Next, start reading the Bible. I suggest getting a modern translation (Amplified, NASB, New King James). You can get an inexpensive one at Costco or Sam’s Club or even Wal-Mart. Get a “Study Bible” edition. There will be good foot-notes to help you understand some of the background of the verses. Get a “Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible.” Begin with the Book of John, then read Romans, and Galatian. Follow with the other books of the New Testament. Genesis should also be one of the first set of books you read. If you feel comfortable sending me your address, I will have a Bible Study tape set on the John by Chuck Missler sent to you. I will also have sent a tape set called “How We Got the Bible.” No charge. I can’t tell you enough how much it helped me to listen to tapes those first few months! I listened while I drove to and from work; I listened while cleaning the house; I listened while walking or exercising.
Start attending a church and get into a men’s Bible study group. Again, if you don’t mind telling me where you live, I can do a little research for you on what a good fellowship would be in your area.
Pray! Talk to the Lord! You don’t have to be formal. He knows you. May I ask if you have prayed for salvation? That is the most important thing. Another thing that helped me was renouncing Mormonism out loud in prayer. I renounced the temple ordinances and the demonic hold they had on me. “For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).
H__, please feel free to email me, daily if necessary, to help you through this. I want you to know that there are people who stand waiting to help you. It will take some time to adjust to “reality” and break free from years of indoctrination in false teachings, but it IS possible. Jesus said “You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” Jesus IS the TRUTH. He will make you free. It is a wonderful feeling! Everyday, no matter what else is going on in my life, I have a little smile inside because I KNOW I am going to heaven. You can have that peace too.
Please keep in touch.
May the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob bear you up,
Tracy
